ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
True college students do jello shots in the library
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
