When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
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