just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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