found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
