am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
