I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
