A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
