Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Randomize
