we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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