Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
