We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
