Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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