last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
