I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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