so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize