So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
