I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
they need to just BURY HIM!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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