hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
