What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
