i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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