Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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