Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Randomize
