She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
