His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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