Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
