doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
