Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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