I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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