i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
