so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
