In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
