I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
