I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
