You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
