she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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