just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
How's work?
Spinning.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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