you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
