at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
