My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
