I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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