He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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