i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
The feeling are messing with the penis
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
