so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
