To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
