No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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