I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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