Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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