It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
