The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
