Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
